Sunday, a day of community and rejuvenation. With the “hurricane” turning out to be just bad weather, my children and I ventured out to church today. I love the feeling of so many individuals connecting with God in the same time and place. The sermon was beautiful, my six year old son sang in the jubilation choir, and my Sunday school class had a wonderful lesson on prayer. In general I love going to church. But in all honesty (which is what this body love stuff is all about right?) I struggle with comparison at church more than anywhere else. I see a wonderfully put together outfit or a really cute dress on someone who is smaller and trimmer than I am and I drift into my nightmarish “if only” land. If only I was slender enough to wear something like that. If only I was slender enough and had enough money to wear something like that. If only I were slender enough, wealthy enough, and my children would all sit perfectly still during every moment of church (never mind that the outfit wearer didn’t even have children with her). Each “if only” becomes more and more ridiculous, in just an instant. Today I noticed this at least twice and each time I pressed pause and refocused my energy. For a split second it was hard to let go of that victim mentality, but by seeing God’s blessing in them and in myself, I could shift back to the feeling of connection and community. I only noticed this twice, but it is possible that this script is so familiar that it runs without my noticing it. I will have to pay more attention to it.
October 4: Today I love myself even while I struggle with comparison. I love learning more about who I am and taking the time to change my attitude.
It started raining as I was playing with my camera today for a ‘coming home from church’ photograph. I stuck my camera inside the doorway to keep it dry while I got to run back and forth in the rain, eventually grabbing my umbrella. Our weather here is still warm so the cool rain was pleasant. I love the wildness of wind, but didn’t get lucky enough to catch a picture of my umbrella flying. Ten second timers have their disadvantages.
Frugal Self-Care Today: Playing in the rain and wind. I had such fun, dancing, walking, and running in the rain that I put my camera up and invited my youngsters to come play with me.
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24, NIV
Want to read all the Body Love? 31 day posts; head here for a complete list.
This post is linked up @